Sometimes certain circumstances will lead you and your partner to be different places around the world, whether you like it or not. Some long distance relationships also known as LDRs start off in person then have to make the transition to long distance because of family, school or work obligations, while other relationships start off as long distance when people meet online or in passing and start a relationship from different parts of the world.
In addition to the usual relationship challenges of communication, compromise and conflict resolution, people in LDRs have to deal with finding time for one another, balancing a social life without their ificant other and defining boundaries for themselves and the relationship. While every relationship has unique challenges, there are some overarching problems that present themselves in long distance relationships. Here are some relationship tips from the experts on making a relationship work, despite the distance. In this day and age of technology, it can be easier than you think to do things together from different places.
All the online streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, HBOGO and whatever else you watch on, provide hours and hours of content that you and your partner can binge together. Newer platforms like Netflix Party even allow you and your partner to sync your TV and movie streaming, so that you are watching together in real-time. This can make it feel as if you are sitting right next to each other on the couch, rather than feeling like you are a part. Watching things together is a great way to connect over new things, and it can be a great way to keep your conversations fresh and flowing.
What can you do to make your long distance relationship work?
In addition to streaming things together, you can challenge each other to online games. Facebook has plenty of games who remembers Farmville?! There are also fun quiz games on Buzzfeed and other websites that you can take individually and compare. Another fun idea is to start a remote book club.
There are plenty of apps on the market that let you share your exercise goals and achievements with one another, and there are even ways to compete remotely. Taking time to connect in creative ways can transform your relationship - Get more relationship self care tips, customized lesson plans, quizzes and more with 1 relationship coaching and self care app. Download now and try us free for 7 days!
While you might not think of Facetiming as any different from a simple phone call, getting to see your partner, their facial expressions and their environment can actually do a lot in helping you feel more connected to one another despite the distance. In addition to Facetime and Zoom, new apps are coming out that make scheduling time to hang out even more fun and easy.
Zoom for example is a great new platform to use to stay in touch.
Zooms allow you to schedule meetings in advance and put them on the calendar which not only serves as a great reminder for your upcoming virtual date, but also creates something for you to look forward to later in your week. For those of use that are totally zoomed out after the workday, there are also things like Google Hangouts that you can use on your computer and things like House Party that you can use on your phone to stay in touch.
House party is a fun option because it has games built into the video chatting app that you can play to help keep things lively. Embracing these different platforms, and changing it up from time to time is a good way to maintain a healthy amount of communication with your partner. Take a virtual cooking lesson, learn a new language or watch a movie together remotely. For more ways to keep a long distance relationship going strong, get started with Relish.
For other people, the appropriate amount of communication might be somewhere in between these two extremes. Being honest about your communication needs and preferences is super important, and if possible!
The key to any LDR is finding the communication that works for you as a couple. Doing this can often be difficult, and ironically requires A LOT of communication, but checking in often about communication is really crucial.
2. see it as an opportunity.
Technology is making LDRs much easier these days. Being connected through phones, social media and other apps can help maintain your connection and really make it a lot easier to be far apart. And while all this technology is great, you should not rely solely on technology to stay connected to your long distance partner.
Writing letters can be a super romantic, and more drawn out way to stay in touch with your partner. While a text is great for immediate communications, letters can often capture deeper, more romantic feelings.
The anticipation of writing and receiving letters is also a fun practice to indulge in during this age of instant and constant communication. Letters are also fun because they allow for more creativity than a text message. With a handwritten letter you can add art, sketches, photos that can provide a more personal touch to your words. Respect that you are apart for now, and try to make the most of it by embracing creative ways to communicate and maintain or grow your connection.
Remember that you and your partner chose to be in an LDR together, knowing that it would be difficult. Long distance is not the permanent stage for any relationship, so know that there will eventually be an end to the distance and try to focus on maintaining your connection even when you are not physically together.
Though it will be tough, try to use every opportunity to look at the positive instead of focusing on being apart. You may really want to talk to your partner Friday evening right after you get off work so that you can recap your week, but they might be totally exhausted, or they might have fun Friday night plans! Even though you and your partner are a couple, you have to respect that they have a life separate from you in their city. They have friends and social obligations to attend to, and you should support them keeping up a normal life without you.
Boundaries help establish and maintain trust in a relationship and trust is especially important in LDRs. Setting boundaries will make sure that both you and your partner are on the same about what is and is not acceptable in your relationship so that you can be respectful of each other and the relationship.
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Establishing these kinds of boundaries requires clear and frequent communication. These types of discussions can be difficult to have, but will become easier with time and practice. Creating check-ins regarding your boundaries is always a good idea, as they can and will change over the course of your long distance relationship!
Long distance relationships take trust, patience and serious effort. Luckily, our relationship coaches are here to help. Try Relish for free for 7-days. Doing things like spending time with friends and family and trying new things is super important, because it helps you maintain your identity outside of your relationship.
Being in an LDR can offer a lot of independence and free time that some people learn to love. Getting out and doing fun things with people can also be a great way to distract yourself from the long distance, which can often be hard for some people to manage. Enjoying your personal life can also help you avoid feelings of resentment for a partner.
While this might seem like an extreme sentiment at face value Establishing boundaries early on will help you and your partner feel comfortable with the independence that should come with an LDR. All the modern communication is making it easier than ever for couples to survive and thrive in LDRs, but no relationship should be entirely long-distance.
Scheduling in-person time together far in advance is also great, because it gives you something to look forward to during your everyday life. Knowing you have a trip planned is half the fun of going on a trip, especially when it means seeing your ificant other for the first time in a long time!
Seeing each other in person will help you feel more connected, and it will help you be more involved in their lives. Visiting their favorite coffee shop, seeing their commute, meeting their friends, doing all these things will strengthen your connection and make the LDR possible in the long-run. You can plan as many fun visits as you want and you totally should! You may not be able to put an exact end-date on how long you will be apart, but you should discuss how you want the course of the relationship to go.
1. avoid excessive communication.
Creating a timeline can be a helpful way to chart out the future of your relationship, and establish an end goal. Will you be together once one of you finishes school?
Do you hope to end up in a specific city? Are you applying to jobs in the same places? Are you willing to move to the same city as their family? Are you willing to give up your current life to be with them?
Regular relationships can be hard to manage, and long-distance relationships can often be even harder. LDRs require a huge amount of open, straight-forward communication to properly work, and this can often be difficult to manage over the phone. Again, people have a difficult time doing this in regular relationships and believe it or not, distance does not make things any easier If you and your partner are having a hard time transitioning to a LDR, or are worried about whether or not your relationship will translate into a successful long distance relationship, consider turning to relationship experts.
Apps like Relish can help you and your partner navigate the tricky territory of long distance with expert advice from tried and true relationship coaches. Relish provides one-on-one, personalized coaching that will help you set and meet your relationship goals.
Relish also provides tips, tricks and testimonials that will help you and your partner grow your connection. Navigating LDRs can be difficult, especially if you already have a lot going on in your personal life. There is not a guidebook on how to navigate long distance relationships.
Even if you follow all of these tips, it can still be hard to keep your connection alive when you are physically apart. Turning to a relationship coach is a great way to keep your relationship going strong despite the distance.