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I was the rebound guy can i get her back

Shutterstock Image. People heal from breakups differently, but rebounds can be one of the worst and most painful ways to get over a broken relationship.


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Well I live down the hall from her in my dorm. She has been coming into my room and hanging out with me and my roommates like old times. She doesn't really say much to me.

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By jkoJuly 28, in Getting Back Together. Hi this is my first time looking for advice online but maybe someone can shine some light on my situation? So I met this girl about a year ago she is in her early 20's and I am in my mid 20's and she instantly caught my eye I ended up introducing my self and casually asking her out however she had a boyfriend at the time so I kept away out of respect. During the following college year i saw her first semister talking casually and thats about it.

During the end of this semester i noticed she was not longer in a relationship, and i started to move in. We ended up going out at a month or so later and everything went well but got much better with the following weeks. We were both really into each other and had a instant connection both intellectually and physically. During the next few months she told me she was not looking for anything serious because she of her last relationship. I agreed to keep things slow for a while not putting any titles on us and we where really enjoying each other till I said I want more.

She seemed a little distant at times so i told her we should take a break till she knows what she wants. At this point I relized i was the rebound guy and she revieled that she was still in love with her ex and needed time to think About 2 weeks later she said she missed me and wanted to start hanging out About another month passes and i was tring to move on with these suppresed feelings because i did not contact her out of respect for her, however i noticed she became single again and i thought i would like to see her again. We ended meeting up and had a good night as friends I know i might be crazy however i am crazy about this girl from the way she smiles to her values to the music she listens to Oh man, I know just how you feel.

I was the rebound girl too and my ex went back to his girlfriend.

Informative and honest truth about a rebound relationship

He's still with her as far as I know. It's just so hard to watch someone you believe is perfect for you and you for them walk out of your arms back to the embrace of someone who allegedly made them unhappy enough to breakup with them. My ex and I were well matched in every way, like you and yours, sounds like. I racked my aching brain trying to figure out what in the hell was so much better about her than me. And what I came up with is that I will never understand it because love isn't rational or logical.

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What makes a man choose the way he does? Or a woman? If we could answer that, there'd be no need for this forum. My best advice to you is to go NC for awhile. Let her see what life is like without you. She may end up realizing what she's missing, but honestly? You need to prepare yourself for the possibility that she might not.

You focus on being the best you can be, whether she notices or not.

Do it for you, not her. I know your instinct is to fight to win her back, but if you push while she's pulling away, you'll come off looking desperate and needy and you know that's the kiss of death. She may have a cute smile and listen to the same music as you, but she has hurt you more than once now I would say toss her back into the ocean and look for someone who is emotionally available and who didn't just get out of a relationship. Thanks for the advice you both make good points. And with concern to this happening for you I believe in trying to work out relationships if you are still in love and that is why I backed down, however this guy exausted his chances and I have been witness to how bad he makes her feel.

Other than that I am going no contact again for a while but I remember how amazing she thought I was and that she was falling for me, but she needed to see if this relationship would work because she had a crush on him for over 10 years. I think she might be ignoring me now after meeting up because she can sense I still have strong feelings for her and she is not in a place to make a good decision on the way she really feels after this past relationship?

Rebound (dating)

We both start school together in September and so maybe I will just give it time? Thanks again for responding, these are things I no longer want to burden family and friends with. By the way, when a woman cares deeply and desires a man, it does not lead to confusion unless the girl is emotionally unhealthy and unstable.

But if this is the kind of relationship that you want and with this kind of girl, by all means, pursue! Let her go, her heart will never be set on you I had an ex years ago who was in the middle of a nasty breakup, claimed that he was done with her. Then he and I went, said that I was the best thing that happened to him Three months later I hear that he begged for her back and they are still together now. You guys do make sense and are right. However I left many details out and she was very excited to meet up with me last week before we met up. And her and her ex are done for good now. I know ya!

If you were really the rebound guy - that is - you filled an emotional void in her life, then you likely weren't seeing the real person anyway. Someone who is recently out of a long relationship if her past was long is not going to be themself They are in the process of refinding themselves while healing.

So, while you think you two were the "perfect match" you were matched to someone who likely wasn't acting as herself. That person, once healed, is a different person. They are less emotionally needy often the rebound guy or girl confuses this emotional neediness with an "instant connection" and since they are also less desperate they are less inclined to be "perfect" for you.

That is, she needed you more than you needed her, so of course she was going to adapt to be the kind of girl you liked. This simply isn't healthy. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but make peace with the idea that she wasn't herself, that she was confused, and you may not even like her or feel a connection with her if she were back to normal.

You shoulnd't "wait around" for a new girl any more than you should wait around for an ex. I think waiting is pathetic on some level, and she had less to lose by not dating you when she knew that you would stick around. She likely lead you on to make sure you'd be available and keep you as an option. Although I do believe the girl I know is the real her, and her relationship was only a summer thing anyways, I think she was morer infatuated than anything.

And no I am not waitng aroung anymore I am moving on with my life and maybe someday when she is good with herself and the timings right there might be a chance for us. My advice. Really think of what love means to you, what kind of love that you want in your life and what kind of person you want to have. Think of the values you must have in a partner and reflect upon all your relationships, not just this one. Look to see if you keep making the same choices that create unhealthy relationships and try to fix that. Get a hobby.

If two to three months from now, she is still on your mind. Throw her a line of hi. Be friendly but not friends.

Don't ask for another chance. Just be in the moment and know the moment may not work in your favour. Go back to my thread and read my latest responses.

7 s you are someone’s rebound

There maybe some links there that can help you. All the best. Thank you! I really have been reflecting on what these things mean to me. I have also analyzed our relationship and have found that I really have strong feelings for her for all the right reasons not on a superficial level at all.

I guess the best thing to do is more on and let her be good with herself before I can expect anything else? The only confusing part is that we went out last week and she seemed really excited to see me and we had a great time but she got a little weird when i hugged her at the end of the night? And she has not returned my call in 4 days?

I was the rebound, i got dumped and i want her back

It hurts is all but I am doing good I am lucky I have so many good friends and family, and hobbies to keep me occupied. That does sound confusing. The friends and hobbies are great. The best thing I can think of to say is for now, treat each meeting as a chance to see each other and enjoy the company but nothing more than that.

How do i get ex girlfriend back if i'm the rebound?

I know it is hard but for now, considering how fresh everything is still. Like my situation we had meetings and good times and then went months of not seeing each other till we eventually got to where we are. It is clique but if it is meant to be, it will be. I think people sometimes put the cart before the horse. Just value yourself and her and treat yourself and her with the love and respect that you deserve. For now don't care how she is connected to you.

Just that you are connected. Very true, and at least I know we had no bad memories, and she said when she went back to her ex it had nothing to do with me, she just felt she had to give that relationship another chance before she could ever move on.