And I do mean, girlfriends.
This short series of posts is written directly for my readers, who me each and every week, sharing their struggles. This amazing group of young women always refer to themselves as a military girlfriend. Time and time again, I hear their struggles and it causes me reflect on my years as a military girlfriend.
Even though it was only a few short years ago, it feels like forever. Our lives are different now: We live in Japan, we have a toddler and a baby on the way, and I work from home running my own business. So if you find yourself filling the role of military girlfriend, you are not alone. You are among friends who understand these exact problems…. Separations are a part of life, but they are heavily prevalent in military life. Many pre-marital military relationships experience long-term separations over a long geographical distances. This creates a difficult scenario for young relationships to even have the chance to survive.
Sometimes it even feels a little embarrassing if you need to get a base pass. Standing in line with your ificant other each time you need to get a vehicle pass starts to feel a bit unwelcoming. Thankfully, you only need this on rare occasions when you need to drive on base alone to meet him somewhere. I do understand now why only service members, retirees and family members are allowed to make a purchase. A Power of Attorney is a powerful thing and should not be granted unless absolutely necessary, but there is a time and place when a Power of Attorney is necessary in a non-marital relationship.
Keep up with the ins and outs of military life
I cannot think of another profession or community where legal marriage and legal rights are such a prominent part of everyday life. Because legal rights are at the forefront of the military community, you often consider just getting married already. Things like deployments and PCS moves weigh heavily on your decision to marry. In any other profession, this is typically not the case.
If you are a military girlfriend and your service member receives orders to PCS, you are forced to decide stay or go.
If you go, you are uprooting your life and picking up the tab for it. If you stay, you create a challenging long distance relationship scenario OR you end the relationship, which is challenging and sad as well. Many military girlfriends come and go in the military community. This is one of the reasons why the title of military girlfriend seems to carry the transient label. It feels discouraging some days.
Many of those in military relationships choose to marry young, some only months into their relationship. I can only imagine feeling transient plays a huge role in couples marrying quickly. Whether you are a military girlfriend years or months into military lifeI applaud you.
And when i do. i will tell her this…
It is challenging, and I know you are filled with immense strength, heart and determination to carry the weight. The road of military life is rewarding, yet filled with ups and downs, and your time as a military girlfriend will prepare you for all that is yet to come. I write about my crazy parenting adventures, discovering happiness in motherhood and navigating the ups and downs of military life. I spend my days re-heating coffee while chasing my kids around the house. Hang around for a bit and the fun!
I need help in answering a question. I am a military girlfriend of an Army Reservist who wants to go to an extended job training at Ft. Sam Houston. The problem is we will at that point because I am pregnant two small dependent children. Am I allowed to live on base if I am the primary caregiver? What is the difference in pay for him in terms of having two child dependents vs. I have lots of reasons marriage is not a good choice for us.
7 problems only a military girlfriend would understand
So I would just like to know the options. Thanks for the help. For the record, neither does getting married. He is leaving in a week for basic and we just found out that he was leaving so soon a little over a week ago. We thought that we would have time and have talked about getting married before he left but that was when we thought he was going to leave a few months down the road. Like when will we have time to marry.
At least not for another couple years. And my friends find it hard to believe that him and I are going to make it because of our rough beginning to our relationship.
But we know now that we just want to be together and that there is nobody else for either of us. I want to find some other military girlfriends around my age that I can talk to about this kind of stuff because I know how it feels. Talking to someone who understands would help so much.
My boyfriend leaves for boot camp in a couple short months and we have been dating for 3 years now and knew each other all throughout high school before that. I respect everything that you have written in this blog.
Please continue to provide wisdom to more people like me. More Popular Posts.
I already found useful tips to help my spouse. I feel connected even though Navy life keeps us from spending time together before deployment arrives. Great course! I now have tools in my belt to work through things, instead of feeling helpless. Lauren, you have put my mind at ease to know that there are tools out there and ways to get through this!
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Getting on base is sort of an ordeal. You need your hand held to purchase anything at the Commissary or PX. Related : 13 Deployment Gift Ideas for Your Military Boyfriend People look down on you if your ificant other gives you any sort of legal rights. You grapple with when is truly the right time for marriage. You struggle to know if you should stay or go during a PCS. You are seen as transient. Want more on military life?
Are you new to this community? Start herefriend. Melinda Walker. Carlee Marlow.