How to get over someone you loved deeply and move on
A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology. Read full profile. When a relationship ends, it can be immensely heartbreaking. We all cope with breakups in our own individual way with some people seemingly getting over someone quickly while others take a lot longer. But is this really the case? Getting out there again can seem extremely daunting or not even close to being on our radar and this is okay. There are many actions you can take that will help you move in a positive direction; allowing yourself to heal while shifting your mindset to one of recovery and peace.
Negative emotions are often demonised and we are made to feel as though feeling sad, angry and hurt is not good for us. We absolutely need to go through the grieving process and that brings denial, anger, blame, depression, desperation, false hope and many more in between. It may feel like the hurt is endless but remember to go with it — accept the feelings for what they are; a means to an end.
Remember that you are doing this for yourself and no one else. Seeing what they are up to all the time is only opening the emotional wound over and over again and that wound will never have its chance to heal. After the initial sadness of deletion you will feel very empowered and this empowerment will be good for your soul. As much as you may think it, your identity is not, and was not, tied to the relationship you had.
Remembering to love yourself is probably the most important thing you can do after a breakup. Journaling your feelings may seem straight out of a 90s TV show but it has great healing qualities. Write down how you feel, read it back to yourself, throw it away or box it up.
Seeing your feelings down on paper can help your mind gain perspective and see things from another point of view. Another great thing to do is to write down a list of all the parts of the past relationship that annoyed or irritated you. A lot of the time we romanticise about the past and remember it better than it was. Writing down the negatives will serve as a reminder and will help when you have moments of relapse.
Although sitting around eating all the chocolate and binge-watching TV shows is a great thing to do initially, there needs to come a time when being proactive is a must to get our lives going again. Go running, walking or cycling — anything that will get those endorphins going. Exercise is an excellent catalyst to recovery — it will clear and calm your mind and reduce any stress.
Being around people also really helps speed up recovery. Although embracing our negative emotions are good, holding on to anger and blame for too long can have a detrimental effect on ourselves and others. When we spend too much time in a space of blaming the other person for the way we feel, we are taking away our power and essentially giving it to them.
It acts as a hinderance to our recovery and makes the process that much longer.
25 practical tips to forget someone you love deeply
These thoughts really serve us no purpose other than to torture ourselves. We live on a planet with billions of people. You probably believe that no one else will make you laugh like that again, or have so much in common with you and yes, that may be true.
But everyone is unique in their own way and there will be someone or many more people who will connect and bond with you in so many awesome ways. You grew as a person and that will only serve you well for the next amazing person to life. It might not be soon but it will happen — just have faith it will all work out.
Fundamentally, you will feel like you are in some kind of darkness for a while.
You may feel alone but millions of people have been through the exact same process in their own unique way and have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Use this as a reminder and a testament to the fact that you will also get through this too. Featured photo credit: Simone Perrone via magdeleine. Peak-Performance Leadership Consultant Read full profile. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication.
And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting. Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties. It starts with intentional listening and being present.
How to get over someone you deeply love
There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.
Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving.
12 ways to forget someone you love
Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing. A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, ? But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd,this date probably holds some sort of ificance to you.
Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary.
Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life. Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.
Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!
While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.
Body language can play a ificant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.
These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these als to improve your listening skills and your communication skills. Our brains were deed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters.
So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting. Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? How should I interpret their words and body language? Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills.
It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity. Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike.
This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication. This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their s. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.
Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption. Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.
These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.